if you remember only one thing i’m telling you—
please avoid naked crying, particularly out of bed
an exception: slumped against the shower wall alone is okay to naked cry
don’t naked dance the salsa or consume small oily fishes like sardines or mullet naked
depending on how you tend to react to bad news, use precaution before doing so naked—
but always be sure to greet happy news clothed whether scantily extravagantly or shabbily
naked, choose clear liquors and cucumbers over broccoli // scotch whiskey
naked, don’t cross your legs please. cross ankles if you must.
never check facebook naked because facebook doesn’t respect your privacy
don’t google anything either naked. twitter’s cool
beware when naked please any tv shows in response to which you tend to shout obscenities.
same rule for people
if you please: this isn’t about sex. we’re past temptation or we are not yet to it
this is about, there is such a thing as decency and a reason it means wearing clothes
furthermore consider decorum in its neoclassical usage: dramatic fitness—
the fit relation of an action to its context
rousseau’s nudes appear clothed in milky paint, they can do anything—
but still they forebear, and mostly just lounge around, which is okay naked anyway
if you’re rich or poor enough some of these guidelines apply differently or not at all.
one funny thing to do is tell lies naked. what nerve it takes!
i’d probably believe your lies because who’s got that kind of nerve?
an acceptable naked lunch: pate, butter & cornichons on baguette. red grapes. iced tea. cupcake.
thank you in advance.