if you remember only one thing i’m telling you—

please avoid naked crying, particularly out of bed

an exception: slumped against the shower wall alone is okay to naked cry

don’t naked dance the salsa or consume small oily fishes like sardines or mullet naked

depending on how you tend to react to bad news, use precaution before doing so naked—

but always be sure to greet happy news clothed whether scantily extravagantly or shabbily

naked, choose clear liquors and cucumbers over broccoli // scotch whiskey

naked, don’t cross your legs please. cross ankles if you must.

never check facebook naked because facebook doesn’t respect your privacy

don’t google anything either naked. twitter’s cool

beware when naked please any tv shows in response to which you tend to shout obscenities.

same rule for people

if you please: this isn’t about sex. we’re past temptation or we are not yet to it

this is about, there is such a thing as decency and a reason it means wearing clothes 

furthermore consider decorum in its neoclassical usage: dramatic fitness—

the fit relation of an action to its context

rousseau’s nudes appear clothed in milky paint, they can do anything—

but still they forebear, and mostly just lounge around, which is okay naked anyway

if you’re rich or poor enough some of these guidelines apply differently or not at all.

one funny thing to do is tell lies naked. what nerve it takes!

i’d probably believe your lies because who’s got that kind of nerve?

an acceptable naked lunch: pate, butter & cornichons on baguette. red grapes. iced tea. cupcake.

thank you in advance.