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Emily Bludworth de Barrios

“like that on the figure in black marble”

 

nobody wants the sadness.


nobody wants the sadness

unless it is like their sadness.

 

and then it is highly desirable,

especially if it is illuminating.

 

i.e., if it is a mirror to your own sadness,

mirrors reflecting mirrors into a long silver hallway

 

in which one walks.

sadness told in a delicate way

can be described as exquisite, poignant, or sometimes nostalgic.

 

sadness which is like complaining

is a usually rotten type of sadness.


framing is of the utmost importance. 

 

to put a happiest frame

around the sad thing.

 

-

 

“Yonder behind that forest to the east”

 

 

As a big cat drags the

corpse of a killed thing

 

Asteroid carries his

mouse-on-a-stick.  

 

The stick from the

mouse-on-a-stick trailing a hollow, pencil sound.  

 

Padding through the forest

of his life

 

snarls of pain or alarm

encounter him.

 

To which he reacts with

great energy,

 

like a splat taking

action.

 

Blaring a solution where

none did exist.

 

Like a totally efficient

professional.

 

After which he takes

refreshment

 

(grooming, napping, etc).

 

Becoming curled up, small,

or sometimes almost flat.

 

Such a tired thing that

lives.

 

-

 

“I! my Lord!”

 

It has been a life of striving.

 

To what end one knows not.

 

Having been wanting to have been

articulate good etc.

 

Your ideal self has always been

lurking.

 

Somewhere

the ideal self is sudden and kind.

 


“Follow me; dark and dismal as it is,

 

 

I am five foot five

Female

 

I have curvy hair

 

It is the color of

A polished penny

 

I am special

In the way that you are special

 

Which is to say

Not very special

 

Except in the sense that

We are a particular identity

 

Deciding and thinking

Many several particular things

 

Your special moments

Are occurring now

 

Your special thoughts are

Occurring now and continuously

 

But are so wispy and curve-shaped

Intelligence is so wispy and practically barely-there

 

Miraculous each time it occurs the sentence

Spilling out your teeth you deserve

 

More of an applause or a rest for having

Made it thus far for having

 

Occurred thusly

 


“The spectre marched sedately,”

 

Ultrasound uses many technologies,

e.g., a wand, a screen, a keyboard.

 

With the wand many details can be seen.

The fetal pole like a balloon appearing not to be doing much only floating low to the yolk sac wall.

 

But in actuality it is doing the job of growing all the time.

 

Getting somehow consistently detailed, and bigger.

 

So that it may

enter the bright world.

 

As a pilgrim sets out,

filled of confidence and anticipation.

 

So one hopes.



“with an air of firmness and authority,”

 

 

I would be a mother

not knowing what it means.

 

I would be a mother

knowing nothing of what it means.

 

I would lift the mantle the yoke

put on the clothing of a new selfhood.

 

I would go where I have

not been.

 

To be celebratory and gorgeous.

 

And thwarting mine own ambitions.

 

It is a good moment to be so ignorant.

 

-

 

“leaving the amazed ladies thunderstruck with his words and frantic deportment”

 

 

You wake up ashamed.

 

Your errors spangle the ceiling,

what you might call the real you.

 

To be the best version of oneself

would be to live in pure silence,

i.e., never to speak, i.e., never to say these

wrong things.

 

It’s very hard to do it.

 

You don’t have to live in fear.

Your big mistakes have happened,

and will happen again.

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