Christina Olson
DEAR STUPID
elegy for myself
You’ve been seeking
advice in trees again.
Cut your hair short,
call it a day. Quit
falling out and in
of love with friends,
their scratch and sniff
tattoos. Idiot girl.
At home, the dog
waits by an empty dish.
Fridays you tunnel
in bed, think of exes
who are married—
and worse—fat.
On your wrist
is a new bird.
You will turn
into your mother.
You friends will say
She was beautiful,
she was an anarchist
and There is neither
rock nor roll
anywhere in Kalamazoo.
Bourbons, marathons,
little yellow pills:
you tried them all.
Dear, stupid girl.
Nothing can save you.
Except this:
go back to that tree.
This time listen
when it tells you
Don’t worry so much.
Another sixty years,
we’ll both be dead.
WAITING SONG
This winter I’m learning to skate
the long pale streets by myself.
January. Alone. Or am I—
today, ten brown birds
lit up my balcony railing.
Morning coffee, puff of sparrow.
Men without teeth or ears
stop me on the street.
They whistle honey, baby, darlin
through the dark doorways
in their smiles. At night,
I hear my neighbor cursing
the dog, Remy, that reminds him
of his wife. She’s gone—ran away
with the circus. Left for a traveling
show of Hair: The American
Tribal Love-Rock Musical. Fifteen
months in Indianapolis, New York,
Tampa, Hong Kong. Back home,
he learns what I already know:
a dog can wait forever
hoping the only one it loves
will scratch key in the lock.
He wants to give Remy away.
I tell him rename him HachikÅ,
that it’s better to have someone
to split the wait with. And me,
now I know the difference
between all the blues and grays of sky,
in ice. The only trick to waiting
is knowing exactly what
you burn for—phone call,
first redbud. Downstairs,
they want her to come home
and fill their dishes. Me,
I’m just asking that the river
catch fire one last time.
