IF THE WORLD IS CRAZY, WE WILL BE CRAZY TOO 

said Moammar Gadhafi. Everybody has a nice-ass watch

and a nice-ass police motorcycle. PVC pipes and figure 8s

in the parking lot. It’s a court if you add a hoop. Any exit’s

an emergency once you can’t tell how fast you’re leaving.

Maybe it’s time for a news fast. Your grandmother’s not my

target demographic. Trace levels reach Sacramento. Quick,

off-label iodine pills. Bus drivers having fun make me

nervous. Sitcoms that aren’t funny make me nervous.

Commercials for sushi academies make me sad. I give

up. It’s one thing to need, and it’s another thing to need

help. Maybe it’s time for a news channel that only shows

holding diagrams. No, they’re not hiring, they’re in a

holding pattern. That sounds way more welcoming than

you honestly know. Welcome to the world. Baby that’s an ass

nice exit ramp. Flash floods are like, “What’s a vista? Peace

out, bitches.” Gazebo in the parking lot of an office off the

freeway in Connecticut. You crying yet? I think it’s direct,

but I’ll follow you for transfers. Marty McFly says follow me

for the changes, and the band nails it. That is a beautiful

version. Cruise missiles. Disney cruise kiosk at the terminal:

ReLAX, we’re renovating. Air strike. Public strike, pension

controversy. One girl is carrying regular luggage in a Warning

Live Pet cage. She is so coping. She is running around to all

the middle-schoolers and saying “Excuse me, but there’s a

revolution. I have friends in the square. I have summers I

spend!” The old man floated on the roof of his once upon

house. His wife, he couldn’t save. Where’s Titanic at in

grossing stats? Anybody? iPhone? 4G? We all rush to be the

first to point out how monotone the rich girl sings the words

fun fun fun fun. But we never blame the melody. You are my

friend because you SO know omg NOT fun. Baby you’re a

nice-ass friend. Let’s make each other nervous. You go where

you go and I’ll meet you when you’re back. They evacuated us

in breezy shirts and we watched normal waves from the cliff.

I typed Don’t worry! :-) into Facebook on my friend’s iPhone

and the local grocery store told the radio anyone could park in their

weekly specials. Bitches that’s a nice-ass story. Let’s all testimony

after testimony, and if I have any battery left I will click Attending

Everything. What choice? O give up anything unfucked O never

mind. The dude in the seat beside me can read The New Yorker

and listen to the tournament at the same time. He keeps his

iPhone carefully lapped. He is waiting for a strategic opportunity

to throw away the subscription card. He’s nice enough, I guess.